Whoever you are, whatever you feel and believe, it is a time to increasingly pay attention to how we treat each other. The thing we call safety is no small thing. And the consequences of living in a heightened state of vigilance is significant. You can get this nervous system tutorial many places but suffice it to say, when you feel unsafe, constantly scanning your environment for danger, and even if it’s not present but you perceive that it is—your body can never rest. 

This means you are always ready to fight and your body is too. The cost to our physical and mental health is devastating. Not to mention it causes us to look out at everyone around us and feel “they” may be the enemy, or a source of harm.

Most everyone I know at present is feeling challenged and wondering what they can do about it. Outside of the usual doing, like getting involved in one’s community to make a positive change in the world, the question that arises for me is, “how do we learn and grow through hardship?” I don’t know the answer for you, and I’m always working on answering that for me.

So here’s this months inquiry…

Let’s start with the obvious. We’ve had some recent shared human experience in this realm. Remember Covid-19 and that first year we had to make some hard decisions, adjust our day to day and perhaps decide where to prioritize our energy or allegiance. Asking ourselves: How do I stay healthy? Should I isolate or not? Mask or not? Which immunity theory do I stand with? How much media do I consume? Who’s in my pod and who isn’t?

Before we rush into being consumed by the next “disaster of the moment” can we pause to look back and allow the continuum of growth and learning to awaken within us. We can begin by asking ourselves, “what did I learn from the pandemic experience?” If it was a hardship for me, “how did I meet it?”

I felt called this month to write about what’s true for me and what a lot of people in my community are talking about. We are in a time when the constant is change, at its best, and chaos and overwhelm, at its worst. Here are a few things, at times like these, I’m reliably going to do. (Not in any particular order!)

• Want to runaway (and look at sunny exotic locations online to escape to)

• Diminish impact & consequence

• Seek pleasure & joy

• Crave REAL connection in all directions—Self, others & Nature

• Write about it

And I know I Am not alone.  So let’s do this together—cry out, feel despair, find inspiration, create new visions and neural pathways, and most importantly remind ourselves this is what we do as humans.

We are wired for change and chaos, just like all of our ancestors and generations yet to come (and no that doesn’t mean it’s good or we like it). We have inherited their stories and their habits, based on real lived experiences. What do we choose to express, to hold onto, to release, to transform. That’s up to us. With enough self-awareness & resources of course.

Some are saying they have lost hope, are afraid for themselves or their neighbors. Some are looking to blame, move, cut themselves off or are feeling numb and overwhelmed. Some are talking about the political change, some are talking about cancer, others are describing brain fog, depression or grief. And it’s true that the collective energy impacts us all. 

What I have to offer you, dear community, is this practice…

I know I cannot grow, learn and heal myself by myself. I need support—to be heard, held, encouraged, unconditionally loved, laughed with, taken down to the river at full moon for a good howl. I need to be surrounded by people who ask meaningful questions, turn towards hardship to grow on purpose, and share from their hearts in good times and bad. It is here, in these sacred circles, that I know I am not alone and it is just this shared human experience that allows me to find my own truth—to grow and to fly.

Sonia Karumsi, of SatyaRasa Offerings, and I have created the “Discover Your Truth: The Woman’s Midlife Experience” for just this purpose. We know, deep in our bones, that we need each other to see ourselves through difficult times. If you are facing the challenges of midlife and you are craving community and want to join this Healing Team—we’re here for you!

A six-month Offering grounded in Community, Creative process, Experiential learning and Inner work.

• Release: through somatic movement, energy medicine, breathwork & meditation you will have sacred time and space to let go. Release the striving of who you should be, to embrace yourself exactly as you are.

• Restore: with journaling, reflection, Fire Ceremony and more– come back to yourself through this woman’s circle. To be reminded of who you are meant to be.

• Renew: immerse yourself in nature, solitude and sisterhood for renewal & inspiration on the “Pause Path.” You are not alone!

• Reclaim: let the mantra of this retreat, “Discover Your Truth” slowly and intentionally spark your inner fire as you reclaim your energy, wisdom and power.

• Reconnect: in a group of like-spirited women–connect through movement, soulful listening, ceremony, laughter, play and shared experience. Finding ourselves through one another.

• Begins February 2025, Ends June 2025. Full Details to be found here.

Whether your affiliated with red or blue or somewhere else, when we are asked to choose our leaders, we draw deep into our beliefs and values—the core of who we feel we are as humans. And it’s here the great divide forms, believing that “we” are not like “them.” Splitting the world and our community into those like us and those not like us.  For some, the divide goes even further, into categories of “friends” and “enemies.”  

Even though as humans we are All capable of friendliness, acceptance, rage and hate, we draw a hard line that makes “us” right and good and “others” as wrong and bad.  I have no magic for righting the state of divide in our community, country or world, but what I do have is my heart and some lived experience with closing down, judgment and “othering.”

The main way I come back to my heart, (or my senses) is to ask myself this question:

“GAME ON,” Justin shouted, “Let it run, Let it run!” He raced to the back of the boat, started the engine and while I held onto the rod for dear life, we pursued this aquatic beast. 

I hadn’t seen the fish yet, but the simple fact that it ran me straight into my second layer of line (about 100ft) and was still going, gave me clarity that this was THAT fish. Holy !@?$!

With every fiber of my being laser-focused on the fish, and my movements, the boat, the voice of my guide giving me all the advice and Mark whispering gentle encouragements, about 15-minutes went by. We continued to play the game just this way.  Fish runs, I allow, fish rests, I reel (and reel and reel and reel). Repeat. 

I’m not saying, subtract this phrase from your vocabulary. However, by putting more attention here, you can come to know a lot more about yourself in any given situation by inquiring as to your deeper meaning. Am I in true acceptance of what is here, or do I feel stuck and unable to see a way out?

I’ve always found it wise to ask myself, what am I believing, and is it true? (Also part of Byron Katie’s work)

This is all to say, our inner world (and no doubt our outer world) is complex territory.  We all have habits of language, hard-wired beliefs, and places where we feel STUCK. Health habits, addictive habits, relationships, jobs, and so much more.

Let’s get curious about the experience we are actually having and work on getting unstuck together! For ourselves and those we love.

We have also interviewed a man who jokingly introduces himself as “the Man Who Killed His Mother!” In truth, you will be blown away by the rawness and courage of this story about what it means to help your parent die with dignity.  (And NO he didn’t kill anyone!) He was in pursuit of helping his mom end her life as she wished and well let’s just say, nothing ever goes quite as planned.  Learn about the roadblocks and moving goalposts of helping a parent with terminal illness access Washington State’s “Death With Dignity Act.” Spoiler alert: there’s also some cussing, Willie Nelson and day-drinking in this one!

Then we finally got the big download…whatever platform we chose, it had to be a place to hear everyone’s stories!! Not just people identified in the “wellness” world. We want to share out how wellness, or the ways in which we care for ourselves in life, gets shaped, by life itself!

Shirley says,

“My anxiety has decreased so much and my ability to get into my mind and focus through things that were once very painful are now very manageable. I never thought I could stop the “never ending thoughts” of my ADHD —to calm down and focus, but now I can and I do.

I’ve made great progress not only with physical healing (stretching my right shoulder) but emotional and spiritual healing as well.

Today I can confidently say I may not know the answers to this journey called life, but I am looking forward to the adventure that awaits me. A weight has lifted and I am allowed to be a dreamer, to be me and me is good! I feel the breath flow through my whole body and my mind clear and I see the path, as a shedding of my old skin, and look forward to walking down it. I am so grateful to feel my life finally awaken and feel excited to actually be present and live it—thank you.” — SM

It is that time of year we are SO excited for and often a time of year we can feel overwhelmed by all that there is to do!  Notice how you are riding that wave? Personally, I am using all my skills to stay upright on my board! Having a lot of wood energy, in the Chinese 5-Element system, spring is a season that pushes me hard.  

So here’s a bit of authentic beauty and inspiration for the season!  Maybe just the reminder you need to take the risk necessary to bloom.

I look out the window and I see February. I look inside my body-mind-heart and I see and feel February. This can be a hard month for us as individuals and collectively. In our region it is usually the final month of winter and often one of unrelenting cloud cover, drizzle and dreariness.

I feel it is best summed up by the movements of my cat family: nap, come to the door, stand in doorway, sniff, turn around and go back to napping. Frequent breaks in napping taken for feeding. Then back to napping. They look up at me often as if to ask, “when will outside be FUN again, when will the birds come back to the garden?”

Happy New Year! The dawning of a new year can be a time of renewal and dreaming, a time to clear the slate from the year before and begin again.  It can also be a time of challenge, stuckness, or a continual efforting to face a life that we are not thriving in.

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What really landed with me, this month, was the idea that my energy, as the foundation of my health, was like a flame. And that flame lights up, barely flickering some days or blazing on another, representing my day to day, life-force energy. This flame is also impacted by 100’s if not 1,000’s of factors internal and external.

It is also what feeds my entire life, my core energetic essence—this flame— it is what I am solely in charge of caring for. Perhaps its the shape and the awareness of my inner fire that most impacts my ability to regulate. To successfully rise to meet the challenges, stresses, or pains that come across my path, I need a foundation of good, stable energy.

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For many of us, we live in a near constant state of sympathetic dysregulation. And its not that our lives are literally threatened, but it’s that thing called STRESS that makes our bodies believe we are under threat of life and limb. And this stressed out, freaked out, overwhelmed state is called, dysregulation. You may be on the edge of breakdown all the time, unable to sleep through the night—tired all the time, irritable, tense, unable to make simple decisions.

So the gap, or the mindful moment of pause, is your chance to reconnect, drop into stillness, do whatever it is you do technique wise, to self-soothe and find CALM. This calm or reconnection brings the nervous system into a state called regulation. Yep you guessed it, this regulated state of harmony, is what we are aiming for.

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Let’s talk about gaps…..I always love a good unpacking of a word, idea or concept.

Gaps are literally openings. If you’ve ever ridden the Tube in London you hear the announcer say, each time the door opens and closes, “Mind the gap” which is a reminder not to step in the hole, or gap, between the train itself and the platform.

Ok got it, don’t fall in the gap. Bad idea. But here we are exploring the goodness of the gap. The reason we may want to fall into it.

So a gap can be a few minutes between meetings, it can be a year between high school and college, it can even be a breath or two between tasks, events or happenings. Some gaps are obvious, and some aren’t.

I have heard many people say in recent weeks that they are feeling some fear and anxiety about winter, unsure if their better mental health will now decline, or if the lack of go, go, go outdoor activity will leave them anxious and disconnected. I can relate…

I answered the call of my body’s pain by seeking out a physical therapist and not your run of the mill PT, this practitioner is more what I’d call a body-talker.  I didn’t know it was what I needed at the time of my first visit with her, but she had a way (technique & presence) to calm my nervous system so deeply that what came to the surface as our time together unfolded, was much more than the remnants of that skiing accident.  

It wasn’t until the second session that the story of the “pain” my body had been holding all these years, revealed itself to me.  The trauma of my 18-year old self flooded back to me as I lay there on the treatment table. 

During my 5-day Roots of Compassion silent Meditation retreat I came in direct contact with what it means to re-member. In Latin remember means to be mindful. This poem above was read each night by everyone in our group and were the only words we uttered each of the five days, as we walked and sat and ate through 9+ hours of practice a day.