Can we nurture Belonging during these times? A Call to Action…

In this moment, as I sat amongst the fresh green grasses on the banks of the mighty Columbia, in the first days of Spring, I felt this warmth rise up from beneath me. With my face to the sun, I was awash in the felt sensation of belonging. Once I recognized it’s presence I sunk into the goodness and rightness that it brings. Good moment!

This belonging moment reminds me of a poem that a dear friend shared with me a few days ago and how belonging can be more than a personal experience…

For When We Greet Each Other by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

I want a new ritual for when we meet each other—

strangers or beloveds, friends or rivals, elders or children.

It begins by holding each other’s eyes

the way we behold sunrises or the first cherry blooms,

which is to say we assume we’ll find beauty there.

And perhaps some display of open hands—

a gesture with palms up—that suggests both

I offer myself to you and I receive you.

There should be a quiet moment in which

we hear each other breathe—

knowing it’s the sound of the ocean inside us.

If there are words at all, let them be formed

mostly of vowels so they’re heard more as song

than as spitting, more like river current and less

like throwing stones, words that mean something like

I do not know what you carry, but in this moment

I will help you carry it. Or something like,

Everything depends on us treating each other well.

And if we said it enough, perhaps we’d believe it,

and if we believed it enough, perhaps we’d live it,

treating every other human like someone

who holds our very existence in their hands,

like someone whose life has been given us to serve,

even if it’s only to walk together safely down the street,

hold a door, pass the salt, share a sunset,

offer a smile, and say with our actions you belong.

I don’t think I have to announce in any formal way how unstable and unsafe the world is feeling for many people today.

I am hearing from friends; who’ve lost jobs and funding for mental health programs, those who are grocery shopping at 10 pm, living in fear of deportation, and those who are applying for citizenship in other countries to find refuge.

Whoever you are, whatever you feel and believe, it is a time to increasingly pay attention to how we treat each other. The thing we call safety is no small thing. And the consequences of living in a heightened state of vigilance is significant. You can get this nervous system tutorial many places but suffice it to say, when you feel unsafe, constantly scanning your environment for danger, and even if it’s not present but you perceive that it is—your body can never rest. 

This means you are always ready to fight and your body is too. The cost to our physical and mental health is devastating. Not to mention it causes us to look out at everyone around us and feel “they” may be the enemy, or a source of harm.

Yes I am suggesting that we offer a smile and extend a gaze that is kind from a cisgender, white body of currently solid financial footing, that is not having the vigilant experience of those most at risk of harm and loss in our communities. And I am also impacted.

The beauty and the beast of the human experience is this. We can be part of the problem or part of the solution.

No matter what you believe, if you value humanity in all its diverse forms, and know what it means to forgive and to love, we always have something to offer and we can always begin again.

The trick is to live these words. These ideas. These actions.

When we recognize the wisdom that “everything depends on us treating each other well” then we can feel part of the team. The solution team.

Finding ways to say with our actions, you belong.

That’s a challenge personally at times and yet I can feel the power of its mere suggestion. We can never know what another carries, but to find actions that say, “in this moment I will help you carry it.” What would living these ideas look like? Feel like? How could this help those who feel most at risk?

Please tuck this in your meditation or contemplation practice and remember that no matter what we are feeling we spread that feeling when we meet each other. AND we can choose how to be with one another. What do you choose today?

May we continue to break down the boundaries between a perceived, “us” and “them” leaning into the truth of our one human heart.

Blessings of Gratitude & Fortitude-

Kari