Light Your Inner Fire Campaign: Finale!
Take IV: Final Thoughts on Lighting Our Inner Fire
I’d like to start by sharing my original intention with you for this month’s Engage & Inspire Social Campaign. In the first blog of this series I spoke about having these uncomfortable moments of, “who am I, I DON’T KNOW,” since my mom died and going through menopause. What has changed in my outer world, has intrinsically shifted my inner world, and vice versa. Mentally I wanted to be as clear as I could be about the change process that was happening within, at the level of my biochemistry, and beyond.
For the last year I’ve increasingly noticed my habitual stress habits, or dysregulated nervous system and it felt like it was time specifically to question the habit of hyper vigilance—that feeling of being ON all the time! This particular flavor being the kind a daughter feels when her parent needs daily care. I wanted to see if I could shift to a regulated, or “steady and flexible” system, but truthfully, I was nervous, as this nervous system habit has been around a very long time. This season felt like the perfect time for a deep dive into this core situation to see what could be done—for me.
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So we began by recognizing the energetic block that can happen when we take in too much of other people’s information. The invitation was to notice just how much outside information you ingest each day and see if you can see how it feels and if its imbalanced. Which is also to say, spend more time looking inside for your answers, nurturing your innate & wise inner guru, so you can know what is needed at any given moment for yourself.
Then I introduced and unpacked the concept of the GAP, as one way to do just this— turning towards our inner life and flame. To begin to notice, with intention and attention, those natural moments when a pause is present. Also to intentionally create pauses, or gaps, in your day and life, so that you can sense into what is happening with your inner fire, or vital life force, and respond to your needs skillfully.
In the last episode I discussed the deeper magic of the gap, acknowledging that right there in the midst of this pause, was the moment for our nervous system to regulate! Right here, we have our solution, our mystery solved….Find the gap, fall In-to it and regulate for goodness sake, it’s just that easy!!!
Today what I want to explore a bit more is the connection between our nervous system and our inner fire.
According to science, nervous system regulation is defined as the ability to move flexibly between different states of arousal in response to stressors.
And the factors that form our nervous system are as follows. Of course genetics play a role, but environmental factors such as upbringing, societal background, relationships, trauma and personal history, seem to play the biggest role in determining our ability to regulate our nervous system. All of this weaves together to inform or “train” your nervous system throughout your lifetime. So our nervous systems’ sensitivity, as it were, is very much a product of who and what we are now and where we’ve been.
Mindful “gapping” is just one skillful place to work on increasing the self awareness that is needed to begin healing your nervous system. I like to think of it as aiming to increase the zone of “I’ve got this,” a place of resilience and ease, where we don’t get so stuck in the stress response fight/flight/freeze of dysregulation.
If you know me, you know one of my core questions is always this: what is my minds’ role? How can I use my attention, by turning inward, and alter the way my habitual nervous system operates?
What really landed with me, this month, was the idea that my energy, as the foundation of my health, was like a flame. And that flame lights up, barely flickering some days or blazing on another, representing my day to day, life-force energy. This flame is also impacted by 100’s if not 1,000’s of factors internal and external.
It is also what feeds my entire life, my core energetic essence—this flame— it is what I am solely in charge of caring for. Perhaps its the shape and the awareness of my inner fire that most impacts my ability to regulate. To successfully rise to meet the challenges, stresses, or pains that come across my path, I need a foundation of good, stable energy.
So what I continue to encourage you to study is knowing three things: 1) your inner flame’s status, is it up, down, moderate, falsely blazing or something else and 2) what adds fuel or energy, (sustainable fuel or energy,) and what excessively uses or depletes your fire, your energy. Finally, 3) How does your daily energy impact your ability to regulate—to flex in the face of challenge.
This my friends requires a short reflective practice, “The Inner Fire”
Let’s pause right here, for a moment, and find your breath. Close the eyes and invite your body and mind to soften and your breath to arrive and depart naturally and with ease.
Find the gap within and notice in this moment where your inner fire or flame is at? Can it be felt in the body, imagined in the mind?
If it had a gauge, how full would it register, right now?
Not judging ourselves, or slipping into desire for something that’s not here
Keep your attention here for a few more breaths, softening your mind and body, keeping your inner gaze on your energy, your inner fire.
Now ask yourself, “What is one thing that sparks my inner fire", that brings a sense of fullness, confidence, purpose, contentment, inspiration, a grounded & balanced energy?
Maybe it’s singing, going to church, dancing or drumming in a full moon circle, a candlelight bath, or journalling.
What depletes or subtracts? What causes your flame to be a sad little flicker? Can you see and feel the truth of your inner fire, in this moment?
I invite you to keep doing this brief practice to start building an inventory of where you are now, what is an add and a subtract and what is the impact to your ability to flex in the face of stress and challenge. There will certainly be themes, and some you are already aware of, but keep your mind and heart open. This state of an open-curious-beginner’s mind, is the foundation of all mindfulness and meditation practice.
Especially due the holiday season, keep shining your light of awareness inward and find out, what is the gift that you really really need or desire? Stay with the Mindful Gapping and Inner Flame check-in practices and see what begins to unfold—during this season of darkness turning toward the light.