Light Your Inner Fire-Part 1

Light Your Inner Fire- Topic for Novembers Engage & Inspire Social Media Campaign! Listen Here

There is no hiding from this sharp turn Autumn takes each year, from warm, brilliant & bright to cold, frosty and dark .  It’s November and we are pulling out our winter puffy jackets, our woolen hats, stocking up on tea, firewood and preparing for the inevitable descent into Winter.

I have heard many people say in recent weeks that they are feeling some fear and anxiety about winter, unsure if their better mental health will now decline, or if the lack of go, go, go outdoor activity will leave them anxious and disconnected.  I can relate.  Historically, this time of year was an awful time, as I spiraled into my cyclical depressive episode each fall.  It never seemed to matter what cocktail of SSRI’s I was taking, the late autumn descent always came. 

Now that depression is no longer a part of my life, I actually look forward to this time of year. I enjoy slowing down a bit, getting out on my skis, and warming my bones by the fire at night.  But this year feels different. (Honestly everything feels different post menopause!)  I have begun to notice these gaps between doing in recent weeks and for a split second I wonder, am I bored, sad, unfulfilled, or something else? There’s a discomfort there, an unfamiliar ache and questioning.  It doesn’t have the same quality of the gap, or the mindful pause, that happens when I am meditating and noticing the space between thoughts or between the inhale and exhale.

This kind of gap feels like, “who am I, oh shit, what now?” I DON’T KNOW!  Which is kind of odd for me because I have often described myself as a gap lover.  The “space between” has not only been a friend of mine, but a key player in how I healed from depression, and I would describe our relationship as tight.  Or at least I thought we were…

This is often a topic of discussion with my coaching clients.  We talk about doing vs. being and how important it is for the nervous system to have time to digest and rest.  It not only allows for our digestion to flow more easily and our hormones to self-regulate, but it allows our mind to rest, a chance to review our day and see what we want to move to long-term storage and what can be sorted out and released.  

In fact, in our stress addicted world, we need more than encouragement to pause and chill out in the gap, we often need a taste of pain, fear or some other discomfort that gets our attention.  So maybe recognizing winter’s breath on your windshield is just that sign.  Or perhaps it’s not winter per se but what it means to down shift into a different rhythm.  Not all gaps are the same, just as you are different each day and each season.  And yet, if we can bring our curious mind right into the gap itself and hold steady, we may find some goodness—an insight or burst of inner light. Who might we be if face the gaps of this season head on?

Blocks:

One of the biggest disrupters of good mental health is the taking in of information, day in and day out, predominantly from sources outside of us. Think podcasts, social media, blogs, articles, news, texting, emails.  Of course we interact and have exchanges with others, we are social animals, but think about how much information you are taking in everyday —that isn’t coming from your own self, your own system?  Maybe we never stop to ask ourselves, “what am I hungry for today?” Instead our days start, and end with phone in hand, catching up on “what’s happening,” (out there) unconsciously in a reactionary trance, ingesting what others are saying, doing, feeling, experiencing—all the while you have no idea what is going on inside our very own precious, one and only, body-mind and heart. 

With everyone else’s information blocking our path to our own voice—our truth of the moment, we become reactionary robots. We begin to actually make decisions based on someone else’s ideas and beliefs and in the process we get deconditioned to being okay with the gaps in between sound bites. Just like taking a break from strength training, it doesn’t take long to lose our muscle mass or our strong physical condition. What would it be like to start befriending the gaps again? Between seasons, cycles, relationships, jobs, meals, or transitions of any kind. 

Assists:

Not just pausing and noticing the pause, as in Mindfulness practices, (which are good and wise practices) but taking in less of other people’s information and finding ways to cultivate tuning in to your own.  Tuning into your own heart, fire, light, purpose, emotional experience.  You name it, it’s in there.  It’s in here—waiting for you to sit down and turn your attention inward.  

So I’m taking this month of November very seriously—to commit to myself to respond to my “oh shit this is uncomfortable” gaps.  I intend to push back from my desk, my doing of the moment and pause as I feel the gap, so I can lean in and listen to ME.  Tune in next week, here, or on socials below, to read more about how we can light our inner fire during this season of darkness.